SMART-Buzz Pack: Getting over “not-Good-Enough-itis”!

Am I good enough?

We all go through moments of self doubt and gnawing fear in our lives. Situations can become very demanding at times, and we may not be that sure if we can turn the corner soon enough. Maybe it is a career setback, or a relationship gone kaput. It could be certain financial setbacks, or even a fitness goal that’s tiring you out with zero results.

Well, the trouble is when we allow these feelings to linger on for too long, when "Am I good enough” and its variants get repeated in a non-stop loop in our heads. Even folks who are otherwise reasonably confident and self-driven may experience this. You're constantly looking over your shoulders and wondering how long it'd take before you can get your act together. Is the slip showing, seems to be a constant worry, as the perfect picture isn't looking that great anymore with these cracks. You certainly don't want to come across as an "impostor".

When things aren't going great, at times it is natural for us to look around and compare our situation with that of others. We may also look at our own past, and discover how things have gone sour long after those good ol’ times! This may immobilize you as your vital energy is sapped by a flood of negative emotions. Comparing yourself to a previous version of you, may lead to embarrassment, frustrations, regret and a host of other negative emotions. It could trigger an intense desire for change, but aren't there better ways to do that? Without allowing these emotions to chip away at your confidence and self efficacy, that is.

Sure, make your comparison with yourself if you must. Can we make it forward oriented? When you think about a future version of you, long after this crisis is done with, what would you like to see there? What would like to be, do or have? Compare your present state with this future image. Maybe that’s better?

At difficult times like these, where do you choose to direct your focus? No doubt, your immediate attention obviously gets drawn to getting over the present crisis. Short term stability is important and good to have. But, are you stretching this “stability-orientation” into the far future also? The latter often comes with a huge cost. You may get your “peace” in the short run, but before long, frequent relapses will spoil the party for you!

How can you navigate this journey by balancing the short-term imperatives with the need for at times drastic and disruptive long term changes? Is there a way to keep the focus intact, so you don’t keep hopping on and off the crisis bandwagon too frequently?   

That’s where your personal SMART-BUZZ pack can play a big role.

Your SMART-BUZZ pack is a one-stop storehouse of talents, strengths and activities that add zing and momentum to your life. They create a SMART buzz about you to yourself, first, and then maybe to others too! While defining your SMART BUZZ pack, there maybe some pleasant surprises in store. Much of it is something you already know, hopefully. The idea is to have all of them organized for quick recall and deployment. Just like a Mobile rate-plan that includes multiple benefits bundled together. 

Before we explore the smart buzz pack further, let’s put in place a quick response protocol that can be used in the immediate aftermath of any such situation. Wherein you feel ambushed by these unresourceful feelings of fear and self doubt, this quick response protocol can help.

QUICK Response PROTOCOL

The Acceptance Pill:

Acceptance of the situation is the first step to making any change, to come to terms with the bare facts and nothing more. Not in a confused, fuzzy and self-flagellating manner, but in a matter-of-fact way, so that you aren't left denying reality. It may help to write it down in a bullet pointed manner, so that you can unload it from your brain. When you have it on paper, it maybe a bit easier to look at it objectively. Definitely better than wrestling with the facts and fact-look-alikes inside your brain. 

Acknowledge the thoughts & fears:

When you look at the written version, what’s going on in your mind? What kind of thoughts and emotions are bubbling up? Without getting into analyzing them, make a note of your top 5 to 7 thoughts that are occupying your mindspace at the moment. Again, it is an opportunity to free up precious RAM in your brain. Some of the thoughts maybe valid, many others aren't.

What you have done is to draw a boundary around the situation, and to see and know it for what it is. These steps are too simple that it is easy to ignore their importance. You'll only need to look at events in your own life (personal or professional) to see how true this is. It doesn't take too long for people to get carried away with their emotions and allow problems to get magnified out of proportion.

Coming back to the SMART-BUZZ pack

Take a few blank sheets of paper, and spend some time on the following points.

• What are your special and maybe even unique talents?

• What kind of outcomes and experiences in life make you feel like you're on "cloud number nine”? Career, finances, relationships, wellness, health, hobbies… Look for outcomes that will excite you across all these areas of life.  Highlight the outcomes you want more than anything else!

• Make an exhaustive list of things you do very well. And even those that may not be going too well now, but you’re confident of acing with the right focus.

• Quickly scan the list, and highlight the ones that you do better than most people you personally know.

• Reflect on your cherished special interests that make you tremendously proud; You know that time flies when you're onto these. Mark them with a special STAR (*)

• Take a look at others who seem to have full-on-fun non-stop, and are doing  very well for themselves.

• Is there something you can do better than them, or even as good?

Jot down all your answers, ideas and thoughts. The plan is to bring it all under one roof, and to keep it for quick reference whenever you’re hit by that down in the dumps feeling.

Any time you’re left wondering how to pick up the broken pieces and move forward, keep coming back to your SMART-BUZZ pack notes. This is like a high level product description. You may certainly make it more exciting with some bright, vivid pictures, drawings and slogans too! Like you see on those exciting vision boards that so many successful people seem to swear by.

Make it exciting enough so that you can almost instantly change your mood from one of despondence to hope and self-belief. It’ll let you cut through limiting beliefs and patterns, and liberate you from the worries of the past and future (real & imaginary).

The SMART BUZZ pack lets you practice working out with greater internal locus of control. You can leverage the power of neuroplasticity, and summon up the internal resources to change life’s narrative for the better.

Very soon, you’ll gather the stamina to start taking actions that will help you go excitedly after that long term disruptive and potentially transformational change. Even when the crisis of the moment plays itself out, you know that the SMART-BUZZ pack is your one chance that matters.

The GOLDEN RULE — Your MINI-RITUALS

The GOLDEN RULE here is to go for MINI-RITUALS that’ll help you keep the SMART-BUZZ alive. What two or three actions can you take today that will be inline with this spirit? Pick at least two. That’ll be thirty by the end of the fortnight! This is how you shift the energy, and build the willpower muscle for the long term changes of the drastic kind. The idea is to own the excitement bit by bit, trial by trial, and action by action.

There will be certain risks to be taken. Make sure you think through your mitigation and contingency options.

Now is the time to watch out for certain self-sabotaging habits. At vulnerable moments like these, it is a scary prospect at times, to stick your neck out and pursue bigger changes. There will surely be some doubting Thomases and Janes, and Jains too, maybe! Simply don't keep looking for their approval that often anymore.

While that may sound straightforward, it won’t be easy. I’d recommend a secret mind-game that you could consider:

Give them the royal snub, at least in your mind! Tell them first in your mind that “you hardly matter”. Of course, don’t be foolhardy to ignore valid points. But screen them first, and weed out anything that fails the “in-sync” test with your SMART-BUZZ pack. Use your own internal radar to do the first level of the “in-sync” test. Ask yourself how valid can these really be, if I invoke my existing strengths, or develop new ones. You’ll be reasonably accurate!

Of course, at this stage, I do reserve the right to again make my favorite recommendations for a few mindfulness practices! Wont go into details here. Pick anything that’ll help you get into the neutral gear, slow down, observe and reflect for that present moment awareness. Will help you snub those doubters better! One of them may be you!

So, go ahead and install the SMART-BUZZ Pack, well before the next crisis of confidence hits you! Best of Luck!

Eat & Succeed! The way to the stomach's heart is through happiness!

A healthy lifestyle is one of the most vital enablers for peak performance at work. Senior and mid level professionals have a special responsibility here. Your decisions, actions and mistakes can have far reaching consequences for the organization and your teams. Yawn! All of that is such a no-brainer, right?

With ever-expanding waistlines, pear shaped bodies, drooping shoulders, dry and itchy eyes, frequent headaches, muscular spasms, joint pains, and a sluggish gait, are at least some of our corporate denizens struggling with the challenge? Well, this is a very broad topic. In this article, we’ll look specifically at our relationship with food and nutrition.

Unfortunately, not many people have truly understood the huge impact that nutrition has on our performance and productivity. There is some general understanding for sure, perhaps aided by an overload of information in mass media and internet, and water-cooler chats too. It could be that there is a somewhat excess focus on weight management, disease prevention and this whole business of looking good. The nutrition-productivity angle hasn't received prime-time coverage.

And when it comes to nutrition and productivity, we’ll also need to look beyond sterile diet charts and recommended daily percentage values. It is important to first look at how well placed we are to even absorb these nutrients.

What are those common mistakes we may be doing inadvertently that are leading to poor nutrient absorption? Are there habits that need to be changed, so we don't feel bereft of strength? 

  

Let’s begin with a few points on food and our emotions. 

What emotions do you experience when thinking about food? 

Some of us imagine that we’re feeling good after skipping or delaying meals on a hectic day. Then there are some who experience a hyper level of excitement at the very thought of those rich and delectable dishes, freshly baked cookies, pastries, chocolate desserts, colas, beverages, steaks, biriyanis, and the like; such a convenient escape from all that drudgery at work, isn't it? For some, it is a kind of fear mixed with guilt at not being able to control portion sizes. Others may actually feel embarrassed, angry and even disgusted at themselves for being too indulgent and reckless, when they ought to worry about deadlines and milestones.

A few among us may actually feel good about food in a positive way, at the risk of being labeled Type-B shirkers!  Then there’s the rest, that large chunk of folks who simply don't care or notice in any case!

Well, the emotions we carry around food aren't limited to this one area of life, our health. If you pause and observe, you'll see remarkable connections and almost symbiotic linkages with whatever is happening in other areas of life. So, it makes sense to pay attention to what our emotions are signaling! And then take actions to change our reality at multiple levels.

The sad fact is that too many of us may have meekly accepted it as fait accompli, that a bad day at office must lead to a less than enjoyable dinner experience. Or go to the other extreme, throw caution to the wind, and compensate for what we’re missing in life by settling for surrogate joys on the food platter. And later, even make a song and dance about it on Instagram and Facebook!

I mean, do we have to take it out on our digestive system just because it is by and large extremely tolerant? Not every bad food choice leads to food poisoning, and a visit to your GP. Off we go and "cook up a storm"! So we can stir the digestive juices with our mood swing vagaries, deadline pressures, and relationships that suck!

Fact is, even after thousands of years of evolution, our digestive system hasn't evolved enough to embrace "snake-oil" fixes like multi-tasking that we use to entertain ourselves with, in our "busy" lives. 

What if we can use a healthy digestive system as a powerful ally in our quest for excellence? To access a more productive state of mind at will, to observe and understand better, stay more alert and focused. To stay unflappable, long after others have wilted and given up?!   

Mindfulness is seen by many as potentially having some answers to this “busyness” crisis. Numerous studies have shown significant benefits like creativity, resilience, superior thinking, cognitive skills and lots more. Well, we're so fortunate that our ancestors have found out some of these answers thousands of years ago. Our experience and relationship with food is a perfect canvas on which we can enjoy and experience mindfulness. Food after all is one of the most complete and holistic experiences with all the senses tuning in together, if only we can let them be! There is a chance to get into this flow and experience mindfulness in every single meal each day. That could mean more than 1000 mindfulness experiences each year, just from your meals! Can you imagine the power that it can unleash into our lives?

So, where do we begin?”

How do we ensure that we can enjoy our food and also absorb the best nutrients to lead a life of health and fulfillment? To develop a relationship with food that lets you take the best out of the experience and also reap sustainable benefits in multiple areas of life?

The areas that need focus are:

• Food Types
• Thoughts, Emotions, the Digestive System & beyond
• Support Infrastructure
• Mindful Eating

Know your food types:

In Ayurveda, there is great emphasis on the basic qualities of different food types. This in turn impacts our personality traits and nature due to the effect of food on our emotional states. It is a good idea to keep this in mind while planning your food intake. You can get plenty of details on the Net. I'm sharing a couple of simple rules I've found useful in practice: Avoid Rajasic foods (foods that excite and aggravate a lot with heavy spices for instance) at dinner time. Tamasic overload at lunch time is an open invitation to that embarrassing stupor! The love handles love it too, a lot actually! 

Sattvic foods are good anytime any day! You'll be brimming with wholesome positive energy and a feeling of sprightly goodness. A diet that's loaded with sattvic goodness is perfect for your skin and feels light on your digestive system. You aren't feeling drained that often. You feel more alert and sharp, your thinking and cognitive skills are better too! People like being near Sattvic folks.

Thoughts, Emotions, the Digestive System & beyond:

Research has shown that stress may increase the cortisol levels in your blood stream. While you're digging into that yummy dinner, are you also watching the news and cursing your government and those sick and slimy journos? Or, maybe you're having a tense chat with your partner or kids. Lunch time of course is never complete sans all that yummy boss-bitching camaraderie!

Meanwhile, not sure if you'd have noticed, your heart rate has gone up and so too has the blood pressure! Some chemicals that clot the blood may also get released, just for that extra effect!

News of another terror strike? You know very well that fear may result in stress hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline to get a bit extra active. Feeling still more stressed? You've just raised your cortisol levels a wee bit more, which by the way can play havoc with your blood sugar levels, thyroid function, and even bone density! Your muscles are tensed up, breathing is disturbed, thereby impacting even blood circulation and oxygen flow. Go ahead, frown a little more. In fact some of the defense mechanisms of your body also get switched on, as it imagines there is imminent danger of some big kind. Yeah, right before bed time that is!

In its wisdom, your body might decide to release more blood sugar so that you can get up and run. Or, as an afterthought, it decides to convert most of your dinner into fat. Your loud snoring has told your body you aren't running away, just yet! You maybe CEO, or the Chancellor of the Exchequer: You see, can’t make out the difference when you snore! It sounds just as bad…That’s the level of confusion the "Nine o' Clock" news and remembrance of the day gone by are creating! In case you're wondering, that surge of adrenalin while watching ESPN sports may not help either. Night after night, this emotional self-abuse (rightly called Emotional Atyachar in Hindi!) continues and becomes endemic.

In the midst of all the hullabaloo, who cares if the food was chewed properly, right? Those big dinner chunks and nuggets are going to add more load on your digestive system. Maybe, some amount of choking is par for the course too?

Meanwhile, your system is constantly spiked with toxins and stress hormones. A nice chemical bath of the malevolent kind awaits your dinner chunks. Your sleep quality suffers and the body’s natural healing mechanisms keep falling over.

Good Morning! You wake up feeling groggy and desperately hope those black coffees will do the trick for you. The traffic snarls aren't helping either. A new day of endless meetings, crazy spreadsheets and all of that rigmarole, over and over again. Wherein you’re supposed to take big risks, motivate people, champion innovation, talk and exude perfection, impress customers and the C-suite folks… Death by Chocolate can be a bit too close for comfort at times, and a sure sign of things to come too! The gut feel isn't that great anymore, actually.

What your body needs at the time of eating is relative peace and calm, so that you can chew and masticate too. That’s the only way food can be processed and broken down properly in the stomach. It allows the body’s natural signaling processes to work well. You can then "figure out" well in time if you've had enough before you start gorging mindlessly on those plus size gilafi kebabs and sin-filled desserts! There is a choice you're making when you cross a certain inflection point. Once you’ve crossed it, nothing matters, as overeating just happens! With less noise around and within, you'll know and you'll notice, just in time.

How can we install more virtuous habits that can reverse the damage? Check out the section on mindful eating.

Develop a Supporting Infrastructure:

When it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, the real big trouble is not lack of awareness or knowledge or specialized help. In fact, quite often there is too much information, options, expert recommendations, and plenty of research findings too (of all hues with hilariously contradictory findings at times).

Rather, it boils down to the ease with which you can maintain the discipline of sticking to your health commitments and resolutions. It isn't that tough to create a customized diet chart, is it? The lack of a pragmatic support infrastructure to implement the plan is where things start to flounder.

Timing:

A fundamental rule is to ensure you don't stay hungry for too long. Large gaps between meals can throw your metabolism cycles out of gear. And when you finally get some time, you’re already so tired and feeling worn out. Not the best state for happy eating. It’s tougher now to absorb the right level and quality of nutrients.

Access & Availability:  

Wholesome meals and healthy snacking options can help to a large extent to give you the nutrients that your brain needs for extra processing power. Office canteens and caterers are obviously not too bothered about your relationship with food, and such fluff! Well, off late some of them have added health menus based on recommendations by nutritionists. There’s still more ground to cover. So, it makes sense to plan and ensure that it isn't a case of out of sight and out of mind when it comes to healthy food options.

Make sure that your shopping list is prepared thoughtfully, and the kitchen is well stocked with the best food options. Ensure that you carry your meals and snacks to your workplace too. Spouses can support each other in preparing and packing; This can also be a time for some light banter! You’re also setting a good example to the next generation, if you’ve got kids in the family.

As an aside:

Since many couples are leading extremely hectic lives, this is also an opportunity for the extended support system to rally around. Hiring a cook may not be the only option.

I was quite fascinated by a  wonderful initiative by the erstwhile spiritual head of the Dawoodi Bohra community, His Holiness The Late Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin. Concerned by the fact that many women in the community were spending too much time in the kitchen, he had initiated a community kitchen practice to supply freshly cooked, nutritious meals to homes of the faithful in Mumbai. Women, especially home makers found this liberating, as they now had time to focus on their professional interests. Many home makers now have time to start small businesses. The idea has spread to many cities and towns where the Bohra community has a good presence. The scheme is also giving a source of livelihood for many. Isn't this an amazing idea that more communities and groups can adopt?

Talk to your friends, colleagues and find out creative ways in which you can delegate the cooking & preparation to trustworthy passionate folks in the local community, if paucity of time is a big issue. You'll reap a lot of benefits and goodwill too! Wouldn’t that be amazing?

Practice Mindful Eating

We’ve seen earlier how crazy thoughts and mental/emotional states can wreck your digestive system, and thereby your effectiveness at work. It’s obvious that many of these thoughts come unannounced and automatically. The simplest solution is to stop standing in their way!

Yes, switch off the television and smartphone for a while. Also, make an intention to yourself:  "Right now, I am just gonna enjoy my food and totally stay with it. Problems and worries can take a break". Giving explicit commands to your mind is a good start. It will slowly realize that the real Boss is taking charge!

Give a break to the Boss-Bitching too at lunch time. Avoid discussing controversial topics, and anything that may disturb you and others.

Silence is indeed the best companion you can befriend to develop a wonderful relationship with food and the process of eating. Practise noticing the sight, taste, smell, texture and even the sounds as you chew your food slowly and deliberately.

Swami Sivananda, the renowned Indian seer used to talk about "Mitahara" (wholesome food). Rujuta Diwekar (famous Indian nutritionist) has written about the process of consuming mitahara with a sense of total focus and devotion.

A few extremely simple tips from my own practice:

• Chewing each morsel of food at least twenty times, allowing the digestive juices to work just right
• Devoting complete focus to the experience of eating, engaging all the five senses
• Not more than a few sips of water while eating.
• “Listening” carefully for the internal signal of when “enough is enough”. Stopping right there
• Developing a sense of gratitude for the entire experience (Remember, 1000 rounds of mindfulness can be transformational)

The greatest benefit is the highly evolved communication process that you develop with your digestive system. This can be critical for people wanting to stay healthy, stay at optimal weight, enjoy fitness and stamina, and look and feel good too. Note that even the healthiest food can turn into poison in the body if you subject it to toxic chemical baths caused by weird thinking habits and unmitigated stress.

And once you train yourself on mindful eating three times a day (or at least once to start with), take this formula into other areas of life. Listen mindfully to your colleagues for instance. It can work wonders. I’ll share more tips in later articles.

For NOW, let us celebrate this slowdown!

Eat, Love and Live!

Enjoy your Mita Ahara :)

Bring more happiness into your food experience, & Celebrate life, RIGHT NOW!

The other Big O that matters: Optimism!

Optimism (of the meaningful kind) contributes to our well-being at several levels. Not the over-indulgent variety that throws caution to the wind! Rather, the kind of optimism that is nicely blended with awareness and discernment. The latter is vital to our quest for success, excellence and fulfillment in life. Optimistic and result oriented people are also often perceived as the right folks to connect with, both in personal and professional areas of life!

Research in neuroscience has hinted that excess optimism may in fact be a brain defect due to issues with the frontal lobes. Well, not that staying optimistic comes easily these days.

Watch out for the optimism suppressors in your own life. Your own habits, thinking patterns, life experiences, people in your life and their actions and words, negative triggers and messages in society, the world of news, politics, business, advertising, mass media and entertainment… There is so much that is vying for your attention, and one of the easiest ways to get your attention is to overemphasize the negatives. There are so many industries that thrive on this model after all!

Scan them closely, and you’ll soon identify many triggers that have a way of directly and indirectly gnawing away at hope, confidence, positivity, and cheerful anticipation. So much of it happens at a subliminal level, and a “perspective crisis” is only making it tougher to stay meaningfully optimistic. Little wonder that what often passes for optimism is the wild and biased near-day-dreaming variety incubated in those “faulty” frontal lobes!

How can you safeguard yourself and your optimism from these triggers? & Stay on Course too?

Safeguard your State of MIND

Let’s take a closer look at some situations that can dramatically sap your sense of optimism.

A Suffocating Environment:

Have you felt suffocated by manipulative people who don't allow you to express your ideas or opinions, or even reach for your potential? They get an almost vicarious thrill in hurting your ego with their machinations hidden beneath carping criticism and nitpicking. They misuse their power to stifle diverse opinions, and brook no disagreement. You’ll meet such people at workplaces, homes and beyond too! It is undoubtedly tough to remain optimistic in the face of such sustained onslaught. 

First of all, it is important to scan criticism and other behaviors to weed out the noise/drama from the valid. The valid part is potentially beneficial, and may include valid criticism or suggestions that can be taken on board. The rest needs to be trashed for your own good.

Deliberate indifference

Deliberate indifference can be a good strategy towards the drama and noise component. Even if you don't show it, make sure that you choose to stay mentally and secretly “indifferent” to the negativity that’s thrown at you. This is not to suggest that you suffer in silence or tolerate bullying that borders on the illegal. Not everything may fall neatly into this category. If it does, then that’s a fight you must take on. For the rest, indifference could just be the safety valve to protect your state of mind.   

Although, you might like the idea of moving out of the situation altogether, that may not be easy. Safeguarding your state of mind becomes absolutely important now, as we are entering coping territory. You don't want to give them the power to control your mind. This toxicity cannot be allowed to seep in to your system. It may not make sense to counter them openly.

Is there a way to avoid a head-on collision and still keep the focus on outcomes? And how do we get to sustainable optimism from there?

Define a platter of benefits:

Even in very trying situations, look out for opportunities that can work to your advantage in the long run. Maybe your superior or colleague is a true pain in the neck! How about looking at it as a great chance to gain some critical survival skills that may become useful in more challenging situations? Like, training your mind to look at the entire experience as a learning opportunity, to handle unpleasant people without losing your sense of equanimity.

Maybe you can use this opportunity to examine your career goals and aspirations, and plan for significant changes in the medium to long run. The drive for power, affiliation, and achievement are three strong forces of human motivation. Play with this mix as you define clear outcomes that can give you these and more. Check out the reflective questions given in later paragraphs. 

You may also want to get better known in the wider organization/fraternity for your special talents and strengths, as you move forward. Connect up with others with a positive outlook at work and in general. There maybe other victims of the bully too. Even if you do connect up with them, watch out and ensure you don't end up spending an awful lot of time in sharing sob-stories.

Perhaps you wouldn't have thought on these lines in less trying/painful times!

Reflect on these questions 

• When you emerge out of this situation, what new skills, talents and strengths would you like to add to your personality?
• What new opportunities would you like to explore?
• Two years from now, how would you like to see your life change?
• How can you use this adversity as a catalyst to make that happen?
• What outcomes can make you feel strong and empowered in a big way?
• What kind of appreciation/acknowledgement/praise would you like to get, and from whom?
• What more would you like to have?
• What needs to change?

Do you agree that some of these benefits are coming your way only due to the pressures of the current situation? Take actions on this platter, so that it is no longer a totally raw deal.

Nurture Equanimity & a Powerful Sense of Purpose:

What we’re doing here is to cultivate the power of discrimination and discernment, to take things in perspective. Defining long term benefits and outcomes can help to shift your energy, and see these troubles as part of a work in progress. 

There are nine steps involved here:

1. Presence Again!

2. Connecting to a Higher Ideal:

3. Harnessing the Special YOU!

4. Mental Endurance:

5. Have some fun too!

6. Kick-ass Momentum!

7. Surprise Yourself!

8. Language of Possibilities

9. Relax

Presence Again!

I strongly recommend creative visualization and mindfulness practices. These will help you to train and rewire your brain with a more empowering narrative. That will be easier now with the clarity on your benefits platter.

It will also help if you can calm down and connect to a centred state of being. And in turn it helps your brain experience subtler vibrations to reflect and see the bigger picture. This will further help you to look at the positive side. And also keep you aware of the damaging potential of caving in thoughts-wise.

Connecting to a Higher Ideal:

Now, you may also consider going a few steps beyond the benefits platter. Many possibilities can open up when you connect yourself to a higher ideal, something that's beyond you, and has impact on others (local communities or at a global level). When you look at your long term journey and evolution, where are you heading towards? It could be your contribution to society or to the wider world. What is there in that big picture that gives you the goosebumps? Don’t worry if the answers aren't so obvious. Keep searching till you get that special feeling that feels just right. You’ll know! 

From here on, it is a messianic zeal that seems to drive your thoughts, feelings and actions. At least for many of you that’s how it’ll be.

Coolly taking small steps consistently that add to this big picture will be good enough. Now, you’ve tapped in to a realization of self-worth, and you realize you are much bigger than the present crises, the opinions of others and setbacks or failures. This is what perspective does. Those frontal lobes of the brain are doing okay!

Wait, don’t stop now! 

Think about what makes you unique and special. Maybe you’ve considered it already. Never mind, do it again now, in light of the clarity on your higher ideals. 

Harnessing the Special YOU!

How can you bring this uniqueness into your actions? And at the same time not get feverishly excited in an over-the-top manner? Because, at this stage, the latter is a distinct possibility. Take it easy, as you’re now in it for the long haul, right? Don't intimidate yourself and others so soon! What matters most is to keep moving, even if it only means minor shifts. They will add up over a period of time! Don't forget where we started from.

Connect up with mentors who can let you in on some of their success tips. Observe others who may have been through similar challenges, and turned the situation to their advantage. Each step in this direction will release you from the feelings of helplessness and near victimhood.

Mental Endurance:

This is also the right time to further build mental endurance. That thick skin of deliberate indifference will come in handy again. You might also want to check if you’ve got the right beliefs, attitudes, and values in place. Meaningful optimism is what you wanted, after all!

Have some fun too!

Over-exertion can also be dangerous, as the sheer exhaustion can make you lose some of the optimism. Build in routines that will make you enjoy the process thoroughly. Fun, laughter, learning, sharing.. pick what works for you. Find out outlets to express yourself, your ideas and opinions in multiple ways. Remember what we said earlier. Optimistic folks are people magnets, and now you know why! 

Kick-ass Momentum!

Exercise choices and make decisions, even if they are small. Get into the habit of moving and acting to shift the stifling nature of inertia and stagnation even before they raise their ugly heads. Take actions that shift your energy towards one of hope and freedom. It could be an email, a phone conversation, a meeting, or any such activity that gives you a sense of forward movement, defiance (at least in your mind) of not conforming to a suffocating order/scheme of things. Any action that utilizes some of your strengths, unique capabilities, and creates a positive momentum will be great.

Whenever there is doubt, reflect on these questions! 

• What action can I take to experience a positive momentum within the next 3 hours?
• Which is the earliest available opportunity?
• Which strengths of mine can I utilize to make it happen?"

This is a benefits driven model, and not wishful thinking dressed up as optimism.

Surprise Yourself!

Occasionally, vary some of your steps, make room for surprises and changes to avoid too much familiarity and boredom! Stretch and test your limits once in a while, so that you're enjoying the change and the challenge too. Acknowledge and celebrate in small and big ways when possible. We have a primal desire to experience the joy of achievement and satisfaction. That high you experience whenever an action point is ticked off after completion is real. So, reward yourself handsomely.

Language of Possibilities:

Consciously get into the habit of using the language of possibilities, options, openness, positive ideas, a can-do spirit. Welcome criticism that comes your way, in a forward oriented manner by scanning and brainstorming for constructive suggestions and ideas. Focus on identifying what resources and changed strategies can lead to better outcomes. Post-mortem of failures can also be reframed so that the focus is on radically transforming outcomes. Signal a powerful attitude of pursuing positive change with the words you choose. Every time you are tempted to describe what isn't working, stop, think and reframe with a new set of words and ideas. Speak instead about what needs to be done in order to radically change course. Speak and declare your intention to take action. Talk about what you have done today to make that change happen in due course of time. Each time you do this, you are winning against the destructive power of negative language. Talk about what is possible, even if it doesn't appear to be significantly better. 

If the change is tougher, don't worry. Keep talking about every action that will change the situation, bit by bit. For every obstacle, for every destructive pattern and risk, talk about ideas for mitigation, contingency and recovery. Take it as a personal challenge and see how it feels as you make this a habit

There are still some issues that elude solution. Some of these are beyond your zone of influence. This may undoubtedly lead to frustration. But describing the frustration over and over again to yourself or others isn't helping in anyway. Instead, formulate them as exploratory questions or option-identification statements that you can feed into your mind, or even talk about to others.

• This can only change/get fixed if…
• The best way to get around the issue will be…
• If there are no constraints at all, this is what we should be doing…

Even if the answers aren't leading you to immediate solutions, that’s okay. You have made a dent and more on the wall of obstruction. Also, you have avoided the temptation to keep repeating helpless and hopeless thoughts to yourself, that are only sapping all your creative energy.

And While you’re at it!

Give rest to the tired nerves and over-worked muscles. Take out time for quick breaks through the day to get some mental, emotional and physical relaxation. It is a signal to your body that your priorities are well sorted. Your mind, body and soul are all coming together, that too on an optimistic note! Play the cards right, and you’ll see your self-esteem skyrocket.

The Big O is here to stay!